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Archive for July, 2009

“You are asking me to do the impossible.  I need to know the outcome so I can feel safe and secure.  If I don’t know the outcome of my relationship, then why would I get involved?  That’s crazy!  And, if I don’t know the outcome of a project at work, I could get fired!  You just don’t get it.  I NEED to know the outcome of things.  That’s how I work.”

I hear you.  It would be nice if we knew the outcome or the end result of things before we started, but we don’t.  It’s the not knowing that can either create fear or excitement.  One thing’s for sure.  We don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year.  We really don’t know who we will be talking to, where we will be, or what we will be doing.  We might have a sense or a hope that certain things will happen, but we don’t know. 

We do know that we are breathing right now.  We do know where we are right now.  We do know a lot about what is happening right now.  In fact, “right now” is the outcome of yesterday.  Did you ever think you would be here?  Did you really know yesterday that you would be reading this right now?  That you would be feeling what you are feeling right now?  Did you know ten years ago that the outcome of your life would lead you to this – right now?  I’m sure there have been some good times with some laughs and giggles, and I am sure there have been some times when you felt someone kicked you in the belly and tears rolled down your face, and you didn’t want to get out of bed.  And I am sure there were times that were just blank spacey times of just “being.”  And, through all of that you got here.  You created this outcome.

If you like this outcome, then keep doing what you’re doing.  If you want a different outcome, then you’ll have to do something different.  If fear of the unknown has been a predominant feeling, then I would suggest you create a new habit of being excited about not knowing.  It is a choice.  It is an ongoing choice.  The outcome of choosing excitement as a habitual response to the unknown seems to create a deep feeling of joy as life reveals itself.  What’s going to happen next?  I don’t know.  This is exciting.  How will this relationship develop?  I don’t know.  I have butterflies in my belly.  This is exciting.  I can’t wait to see what s/he will do or say next.  I’m on pins and needles.  I’m so excited.  I don’t know the outcome of this project.  I don’t know if it will work or not.  This is exciting.  I’m learning so much as I figure things out.  I don’t know the end result.  I do know that I am enjoying the process of discover, the process of uncovering what works and what doesn’t work.  This is exciting.  Life continues to unfold.  I continue to breathe.  What’s going to happen next?  I don’t know.  What will the outcome be?  I don’t know.  I’m excited!

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